Three years ago I became a mom. A mother, the strength of whose excitement beat that of the prescribed sedatives. A mother who should have slept that night, as she hasn’t known what a good night’s sleep is since then. A mother of healthy, angelic twin girls.
It’s customary to say that it has been a roller coaster ride, but this unique experience can only be complemented with a unique idiom. The journey has been like a Bollywood movie with exaggerated emotions, dramatic scenes, repetitive moments, predictable dialogue, and something which will never ever tire me.
The most difficult part of raising twin girls has been to find a balance. Both of them want the same dresses, same cup, same “Anna Elsa” dolls, to sit in my lap at the same time, even the same grain of rice!
These three years have come with a great realisation – having twins is not like having photocopies. They are two individuals who have just decided to bless your family at the same time. As a mother, you have to be careful, and identify and nurture their individual strengths. It might be convenient to schedule the day similarly for them, but it surely is not the desired route to go.
My experience as a mother of twin girls has had a few revelations
- The time consumed per day in feeding and bathing the three years old twins is four to five hours! Please take all the help you can get. Hire, extract, plead, pay extra – and please let it be guilt free.
- “Balancing” is the key. Make sure you spend equal time with both of them.
- Spend quality time with the twins. Engage in activities that interest them.
- Explain to the children that you may have to leave. I joined work when they were ten months old. They are used to me leaving them for 4-5 hours. There is no separation anxiety, as it is now a pattern with them.
- Take out time for yourself, but involve them whenever possible. Do not put your life on hold as it’s better to have a happy mother than a 24×7 mother.
- Balance the dependency of the twins on each other. It may sound delightful, that they can’t be without each other past a couple of minutes. If together all the time, they will either not interact with others or contest for the same people. Put them in different groups/ sections right from play school itself.
- Do not put them in a competitive zone. “Let’s see who finishes first” is the last sentence one should use. As a mother, it’s your responsibility to shape their relationship with each other. Though true for any siblings, this becomes relatively challenging when it comes to twins.
What’s the best part about having twins? Though strenuous, you are glad that you have to do all this just once.
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