Believe it or not, Suhana is just 4 months old and I am already simulating a destination wedding in my mind, or wait, I have also secretly contemplated inviting the ‘Son in law’ to move in with us so that my baby girl doesn’t have to live in another city or country and I don’t have to talk to her once a week on Face-time.
I often envision a career for her in Sports; start training early in life, early to bed early to rise, no time for parties, drugs or boyfriends. Wait till she hears about this! A few days ago, I even dreamt of a 3D framework for her: ‘Dedication’, ‘Discipline’ and No ‘Distraction’. From ensuring that she has her mosquito patch on at all times, to frantically exiting the bedroom with her the moment Sunny Leone thrusts away to ‘Baby Doll’ on TV, ready to pelt a stone at the neighborhood dumb-asses who insist on honking when we are on our evening pram ride, sneaking into her room every time I’m back from a party and keeping my hand on her tummy to ensure that she is breathing while she is lost in her dream world and even imagining that a monkey might come by and take her away if I leave her alone in the room with the balcony door open, I am paranoid but I am loving everyday of being a dad!
With our lifestyles, aspirations, social obligations and a really demanding work schedule, having a baby is not an easy decision. It took us a while to go ahead with it. I have met some parents lately who made it sound very cool: “Oh! It was a drunken night, I had no clue what happened”, “It was a big accident and then we went ahead with it”, well for us, it was very well planned and executed!
It’s just that getting yourself to be in the mood on a designated day as per a date marked in your calendar basis the menstrual cycle of a woman is not very inspiring! But, everyday post fertilization is just incredible. My wife often tells me that try carrying a baby for 9 months and then lets see if you would call the post fertilization period ‘incredible’, but then, I am writing this article as a dad! I made it a point to be there for most of the ultrasounds, trust me when I say this, to see the baby develop, the heartbeats, the tiny organs, the 4D imagery and finally the first cry in the labour room, INCREDIBLE! I am a Science student, an engineer, but this process is just unbelievable. It’s a biological marvel and cannot be explained in equations or theorems. You have to experience it to believe it!
With the internet, baby books and every relative and friend around me with an opinion on parenthood and general hearsay on raising children, I have decided to take a more ‘Instinctive’ approach towards raising my daughter. She listens to Johnny Cash, MJ, Beatles, Dire Straits in the mornings when we chill with a NanPro 1 and a cup of black coffee and Bob Marley, Pink Floyd and CCR in the evenings when we chill with a NanPro 1 and an Old Fashioned , she flies with me to vacations and accompanies me to the beach, Daddy’s day of spa is special as she gets an additional head massage and a shampoo with some extra time to splash in the bath tub and maybe a manicure as well if daddy has decided to bunk his gym on a Sunday morning, I join her for her evening strolls, she loves her bedtime story ‘Peek a boo’ and a puppet show with ‘Jimmy the Alligator’ who is this green hand glove Alligator puppet I picked up recently for her. I think she loves the road as she does groove to the music and enjoys the scenery as we take her for a drive. I’m her biggest fan and she is obviously her Daddy’s Girl!
My attempt at 10 things every dad should know
- Being a dad is ‘Awesome’ – Everyone should ‘DO IT’ – Pun intended 😉
- Please be super nice and caring towards your wife during pregnancy – And always
- Ultrasounds are great but faith is stronger, this is a purely biological & natural process – Lets not over intellectualize it!
- Post Partum Depression is real – I got screwed!
- You have to be ‘Hands on’ to bond and connect with your child
- Introduce your child to outdoors, other people, music and reading as early as possible
- Take charge of early mornings and evenings with your child, this gives the mother a break and you an opportunity to spend quality time. Its okay to sleep in a separate room if you have an early morning flight or a meeting
- Please remember: In order of priority: The child, the mother, the nanny, the grandparents, baby furniture & soft toys and then probably ‘You’. Dad’s do a lot but seldom get recognized for it. They are in the background, the kingmakers and orchestrators, the directors!
- Pro-active financial planning is critical – You have to give your child the best
- When in doubt, refer to point No. 2