‘Why is it that mothers of a boy child often say that they so wanted a boy, but mothers of a girl child never say this?’ This question was posted on a public forum, with a wink emoji, and then followed by that person’s sarcastic digs at mothers of daughters – from saying that they don’t say this because they fear that people will judge them, to being jealous of the mothers who have boys.
What startled me was the realization that age and education has nothing to do with stupidity. Even when a lot of mothers responded and said that for a mother, a child is a child and gender has nothing to do with it, this young mother was adamant in her point that the mothers of daughters are insecure.
I commented as well, but then I did not want to get into a useless argument. Therefore, I decided to write about it.
For starters, the question in itself showed a lack of information and experience. There are mothers who might have wished for a boy, but have given birth to a girl, or vice versa. But this does not change the way they love their child. Gender preferences are just desires that a woman might have during their pregnancies; such things do not change or become a basis for a mother’s love.
I have a daughter, and I never really thought of the gender of my child while I was pregnant. It did not really matter to me. I just wanted my cuddly baby to be healthy and happy.
With gender bias and female foeticide still prevalent in our society, I want to answer the young mother in question’s important question with these points.
- The mother of a daughter is always free to say that she wants a son, because like many, she might also want to enjoy the childhood of both a boy and a girl. And no one in the world can or should judge her.
- The mother of a daughter, in many cases, will not say that she wanted a son because she might have seen disappointment on the faces of her own people when her little girl was born. She might have also seen her little princess being ignored by her own people, simply because she is not a boy. And this behavior too, has nothing to do with education or social standard. This mother will never let her child feel insecure by saying that she wanted a boy, because she never did. The day I gave birth to my daughter, my husband and I were on top of the world. And then came in some people who were very close to us, but looking rather disappointed. They put a damper on the mood and joy in the room, something we are unwilling to forget or forgive. So, the mother of a daughter might never say that she wanted a boy because she does not want her child to feel the same neglect that some unimportant people have given her.
- The mother of a daughter or even the mother of a son might not even mention or specify a sex preference, because that does not really bother her. I wanted a child and I have a child – what more could I have asked for?
- Mothers of boys, in moments, sometimes say that they wanted a girl, possibly because they are girls themselves, and might have imagined it to be fun to play dress up with a little girl, and indulge her is cute clothes, shoes and accessories. But them saying so doesn’t really mean that they aren’t happy with their child. This is just a desire, a possible fleeting thought, said out loud. I know a couple who did not have a child, and they decided to adopt a little girl, who had been abandoned by her family, immense love and care.
We generally say, ‘I so wanted a girl’ or ‘I so wanted a boy’ in the spur of the moment, when we see a little girl or boy doing something cute or endearing. I will never say ‘I so wanted a boy’ because I never thought about it. I am so happy with my child that I would not change it for anything in this world, and I believe every mother in the world feels the same way about her baby.