I know there are mom-friends who would give anything for a house full of chaos, laughter and cries. I was that exact person for years; the anxious mom on their first day of school, sitting at a board meeting and wondering if they’ve eaten lunch, feeling super low when I sent them to my mom’s house for one weekend. I remember being a mixed bag of emotions, pretty much all the time, for six years.
But now, I’m tired!
I’m tired of always trying to do the right thing and being the ‘super-mom’!
I’m tired of worrying about the parenting choices and decisions I made!
But above all, I’m tired of comparing myself to other moms!
Today, If I could only tell you one thing, just one, it would be to STOP feeling terrible about the mom you are or the parenting style you choose!
You are not a terrible mom if you choose Elective C-Section over natural birth.
You are not a terrible mom if you didn’t breastfeed for 12 months.
You are not a terrible mom if the sound of their screams sometimes makes you lock your self up in the bathroom and pretend you can’t hear them.
You are not a terrible mom if you couldn’t make the perfect braids for school. If you are the mom with the child with the messy hair – It’s OK ! Maybe you had an insane morning.
You are not a terrible mom if your child doesn’t have the latest gadget or the most expensive toy in the market.
You are not a terrible mom if you can’t think of creative lunch box ideas every single day of the year.
You are not a terrible mom if you don’t have the lifestyle other school-moms have.
You’re not a terrible mom.
You cannot do it all, 24/7, 365 days in a year. You choose what defines you. Children will imbibe or dismiss our values, regardless of what parenting styles we identify with or the things we do. And trust me, they will grow up to be great human beings with or without helicopter parenting, and successful corporate board room executives with or without co-sleeping.
” Unfortunately, how we are as parents today, is more about how we want to be perceived and/or how we fear being perceived in our own minds and in others’ more than our own progeny.”
Ofcourse, it’s normal to strive to be a better Mom, especially in an experience which is life-changing and confusing.But go with your OWN definition – don’t make it an examination every single day! If you feel that making the perfect Youtube inspired craft is what does it for you, then so be it – if you need to get to work on a particular day instead of an open house, then so be it.
Stop constantly trying to adhere to someone else’s mom book, it’ll only leave you in an endless loop that reinforces the doubts and insecurities we already had.
You are doing absolutely fine!
Because, Motherhood is NOT a competition, unless you are competing against yourself to meet your own definition of success.