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Our Fathers, Our Heroes…

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People often ask me, how do you manage your life and how do you manage to pack in so many things.

 

Just to give you a little background I am a design professional, with a full time work schedule,and a mom influencer /blogger and off course a MOM ( which is quite a lot in itself). And in addition to all the roles I play, I take out time for myself and to be FIT.

 

Yes I may sound like a wonder woman, but the answer to how I do it ? Is because I am blessed to be the wife of my son’s FATHER.

 

Yes, Its my husband I will give complete credit to.Its him why I can take time out to follow my dreams. He is a true Partner and an amazing Father.

 

Parenting is all about sharing equal roles & responsibilities in your child’s development & growth but sadly we always tend to forget fathers when it comes to parenting. In fact fathers share a very important role in parenting & being a role model for the kids.

 

We are equals, we both earn to shape our and our son’s life & we both are equally involved & responsible to what we want our son to be. Imagine a situation if I was doing things solely for my son, there was no way I was going to be able to work & do things that I am doing today. After my son was born, My husband has been such an inspiration for me to not just bound myself into four walls & stick to a routine which was feed, clean, sleep.

 

He motivated me to get out, and hit the gym or go for runs, basically helped me set aside time for myself. While I would leave my baby for that One Hour he would take care of the baby – feed the expressed milk, burp him, clean his poop & even put him to sleep. My work commitments some times get very demanding, including overseas travels, but I have his back so I can go out there and do so many things that I would never want to give up on. That’s called support system. And I am glad I have one!

 

Father’s play an equally important role in your child’s development.

FATHERS CAN BE CAPABLE CAREGIVERS

 

Both parents play important and individual roles in a child’s development .Generally, Mothers do more of the explicit nurturing, while fathers tend to be more involved in play, particularly physical play. However, fathers do much more hands on care giving now, then they did a generation ago. Like changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night & making milk,My husband returns late from work, on an average 10 pm & by then the baby is fast asleep. He still wakes up during the night ever since baby H’s birth to make milk while I pacify the baby. This shows his concern towards me & the baby. He also changes his diapers ( being honest, earlier he used to be a little iffy about it, but with a little bit of practice and couple of months into fatherhood, he is OK changing diapers).

 

FATHERS ROLE IN A CHILD’s SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL & COGNITIVE GROWTH.

 

Studies show that if your child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development.A strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity. Playtime with fathers are different then it is with mothers. Fathers are more into rough play or horseplay, leading to children expressing emotions that are different than they would while they play with mothers.For eg: my husband tosses him in the air, swings him upside down, takes him for a ride on his shoulders & tickles him with his beard, my son expresses such fun & real life thrilling emotions like, he laughs, giggles like he never wants it to stop. My husband,with his demanding work schedules knows he can’t spend time with the baby in the evenings so he makes sure he wakes up early with my son and indulges in outdoor activities every morning. ( So mornings are now all about ‘daddy-time’, my smart kid refuses to recognize me in the mornings!)

 

FATHERS PLAYING ROLE MODELS

 

My son is too small to speak but I hear other kids referring to their dads with so much pride- For eg: my dad got me a new car, my dad is taking me for a swim, It’s my day out with dad , wait until my dad is back etc. This is because fathers often become role models for their kids. It improves social skills in kids when a father spends more time with the child. I as a kid grew up seeing my father being an extremely hard working person and that’s what I see my self doing. Again my father was my role model. What does a girl see in a man- empathy,respect and care. Similarly, a father sets examples in front of his kids, when it comes to behavior, respecting and treating people. It’s very important for a father to inculcate these moral values in a child. For eg: my husband lost his mom when he was 11 and has been raised by his dad ever since, I fell for the person he was, when I saw him taking such good care of his dad in return. And now with me, he is so gentle and so understanding, so I am sure my son will grow up with these values that my husband will set for him. I want my son to be like his Dad :)

 

FATHERS AND FAMILY TIME

 

Studies show, families that have fathers actively involved in household responsibilities, report an increase in cognitive skills, self control skills and a decrease in gender-stereotyped beliefs. At home we are both equals. We both work & we both are equally involved in bringing up our baby and household chores. So this will give our son a perspective that house chores are not only for ladies and working and bread earning is not ‘just’ a man’s job. Also it’s very important to keep relationships healthy between couples as kids grow, they quickly and strongly imbibe what they see.

 

So from time-to-time it’s important that we give enough credit to ‘Our Heroes,Our Dads’ and ‘Husbands’ for being the amazing individuals they are.

 

Happy Father’s Day to all you lovely dads who put in so much effort behind the scenes.

 

This is my Father’s Day gift to you Valmic. Thanks for being such an amazing D❤️D to my son.

 

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By Sakshi Vaidya
A working mom, who is trying to help shape the new age of parenting in India.  Making motherhood beautified & simplified, through contemporary approach.  Fashion designer by profession, health enthusiast & an avid traveler “
@uptownmommy (SAKSHI VAIDYA)
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