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Close Encounters with the Pregnant and Their Strange Thoughts

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It’s amazing how even when one is overwhelmed, possibly in intense amounts of pain, with a baby on its way, one still has the strangest thoughts. We put together a list of some super strange and random thoughts and concerns moms-to-be were having, closer to the end of their pregnancies.

 

Investment Ideas – Gunjan Goswami

While in labour, I googled “who invented the epidural.” I wanted to buy stock in the company.

 

Push It – Asis Handa

I had planned to stay calm during my first delivery. I had no idea what I was getting into! This is something you can only feel in a bad bad way… no words can describe the peak of labour and how the only thing you hear is push harder push harder… I swear I felt like punching everyone and telling my husband to stop yelling and come do the pushing.

 

Food First! – Shagun Singhal

I was going out for dinner with my husband, and just decided to drop by my gynac, who suddenly told me to rush to the hospital… it was time for C sec! I tried to convince her to let me first go have dinner, leaving her shocked! C sections are pretty mechanical, but the anxiety was still intense. It was only after Vedant was put down beside me that the feeling sank in. My mind was still racing with thoughts of the Jaapa maid, visiting friends and relatives, breast feeding… at least they were all related!

 

Subway or Highway – Rohani Talwar

I had a craving for a Subway during my first pregnancy. When I went to the doctor, I was already in labour, but I requested her to let me eat a sub last minute. She wasn’t pleased, but allowed me anyway. I relished every bit of that sandwich, and rushed back to the hospital.

 

Reel Time Over Real Time – Neha Kirpal

My older nephew was a preemie. So when he was born (almost a month earlier than scheduled), nobody in the family was actually ‘expecting’ him! When my sis & bro-in-law were calling to inform us that the baby was born, we were out watching a movie, and actually told them we would call them back! Later in the interval when we spoke to them, we realized that my nephew was already here! Even 5 years later, the incident still makes me laugh everytime I think about it!

 

Walk The Talk – Vani Singh

15 odd hours of labour had left me exhausted and bit of a zombie. Chitrani had already crowned when the nurse told me to shift to another bed, due to a technical emergency. On auto mode,  I actually walked to the other bed, when it hit me that  my baby could plop out of me while I was walking! I went hysterical for a few moments!

 

It’ll never happen to me – Anonymous

I remember reading about this all through my pregnancy, and kept praying that it wouldn’t happen to me. But as they say, one of the many things you read actually do come true. So my 10 seconds of fame (maybe embarrassment!) in the delivery room was when I actually pooped on the delivery table. You don’t even know it’s happening! With doctors, nurses, and family around… I tried to control it as much as I could, but after 15 hours of pushing… The saving grace was when I heard my doctor say – ‘We actually want you to poop, because that means you’re pushing the right way, and that the baby’s head is coming down’ sigh!

 

Heads Up! – Namrata

My husband thought all babies come out head first (thanks to the pre-natal classes), so while I was on the table and my baby’s legs were coming out first, I could hear him say – ‘hey, where’s our baby’s head?’ Even in all my pain, I just couldn’t believe his innocence!

 

Understand the Underpants – Uditi

The mesh underpants… Aaah, the famous mesh underpants. What size are these pads anyway, XXXXXXL? I remember my nurse handing me one of those soon after my delivery and I was thinking to myself, well I’ve put on weight, but didn’t think I was that huge at 54 kgs! While I must admit, they are clearly not the most stylish things to be wearing, they are definitely super comfy!

 

Get the Memo on the Massage? – Karishma

I used to love my Sunday morning massage, until I went through the massage after delivery. The nurse kept coming back to massage my stomach, right where I had my 7 pound baby come out from. Stitches, staples, pain… they don’t care. They do it so that your uterus contracts and the bleeding is controlled. But whatever the benefits might be, it clearly does not feel like a massage!

 

Wind beneath my… – Anonymous

The famous Fart question! So you need to fart before you can leave the hospital post delivery. They are super serious about this, too. This was not easy for someone like me, who gets extremely stressed out when she feels as though she is inconveniencing someone else. So to have my family, my husband, and the entire hospital staff waiting for me to pass gas so I could go home was far from an ideal situation for me.

It’s a weird place to be, because usually when people ask you if you farted, you say NO. But in the hospital, if you keep saying no, then you never get to leave! I waited for the first thing that felt like a minor anal exhalation and jumped on it. I’m going home to not sleep some more, y’all!

 

Photo Op – Akriti

My husband and I were scheduled for date night, when I felt a funny, weird, never-felt-like-this-before pain, and landed up at the hospital to see my doctor. I remember being dressed in my Friday evening best, bright red lipstick and a bright yellow gown, and the next thing I know, I’m on the delivery table, in labour! Oh well, at least my pre-delivery pictures are going to look picture perfect!

 



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