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The dark side of pregnancy and motherhood nobody warns your about

So you have just fulfilled the ‘every girl’s dream’ of a fancy wedding, and a fancier honeymoon and are not even done wearing the newly married colours and dresses and there are still romantic setting restaurants waiting to  be ticked off your list when you start getting greeted by the dreaded “khush khabri kab hai?”. Actually not fair to call it dreaded as I take the risk to assumptively say that most married women do also dream of having a baby of their own.

 

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But have you noticed that the ones who ask this question are usually not your close loved ones. Not that our loved ones aren’t eagerly waiting for our offspring ,of course they are the most, but they want us to enjoy our newly married bliss state for a while before we hop onto the never ending journey called “Parenthood”

 

So when that aunty of yours who never even attended your wedding because the venue was too out of the way for her or the cousin who kept you out of her baby’s birthday party guest list, show the extra eagerness to see you as a parent, there is something they don’t tell you.

 

  • They lure you with the pregnancy glow but they don’t tell you that you may gain weight you never imagined and that you should try to keep fit even during pregnancy and that you should also be prepared for conditions like melasma or mask of pregnancy where you get dark patches of pigmentation on your neck or forehead due to the hormonal changes.
  • They may tell you that labour and birth are the most painful experiences in life but they don’t tell you that the journey ahead is a more difficult one.
  • They may tell you that you will have sleepless nights but you never see them advise your husband or other members from the paternal side of the baby to help the best way they can.
  • They may tell you that a child will bring immense happiness but they don’t tell you that you may also feel miserable and at your worst even while holding that beautiful baby in your arms.
  • They tell you breastfeeding is best for baby but they don’t tell you how stress can affect breastmilk.
  • They may tell you babies are difficult to handle but they won’t tell you that a baby may cry just like that and not because she / he is hungry all the time and that you should not stress about it!

 

I do not mean to discourage parenthood by this post or show motherhood in a bad light. I think it is the most wonderful experience and a bliss.

 

All I want to say is, if you really love someone and are genuinely waiting for their “khush khabri”,  prepare them for the days to come. A mother armed with the right knowledge will be well equipped to face any situation that comes her way and the darker aspects that come with the joys of motherhood will not come as a surprise to her . Share the good and the bad and prepare a mother well. The less surprises and related stress , the better for the mother and the baby.

 

  • Tell her the not so obvious.
  • Tell her what the fancy TV commercials don’t. Prepare her well. All those pretty dresses and books and toys won’t be put to their best use if the mother is sitting there all tangled in her emotional mess! I can say this from my personal experience!

 

I have pledged to arm all my loved ones expecting babies with the ‘Behind the welcome hall’ – ‘inside the new parent’s bedroom’ scenes and  not just with a hospital bag list.That list is not so important. That cousin above will help you with that 😉

 

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By Maria Abdul
Being Mommy to little princess Hanifa| Teacher | Blogger
Follow her blog her ‘thelyricalmomma’  here

 

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