Well, here’s the thing: having a child can really turn the entire notion of what is and isn’t reasonable in a relationship entirely on its head. And it’s usually Dad who becomes confused about “right”, “wrong” and “maybe”
So before you embark on the holy act of procreation, here are 10 survival tips for New Fathers, just to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Don’t sleep through the sound of a crying baby
Babies can’t talk (durrr!) so they cry to let you know what’s up ! Remember – no matter what ungodly hour it be, you MUST wake up when the baby cries and not snore blissfully through it.
Handle with Care
Sure, for the first three months, new born babies are utterly terrifying in their fragility, but they have the tools to survive a fair amount of stuff. You’re not going to break your baby ! Just be cautious and use common sense. If you bunked your lamaze classes, quickly Youtube – ‘how to hold a new born’, ‘how to burp a new born’, ‘how to swaddle a new born’ and you should be just fine.
If you smelt it first, it’s your turn to change it
Handing the baby over to thy partner and saying, “I think the baby just pooped and needs a change,” is altogether forbidden. You’re not going to shirk your duties are you? One of the first things you must learn is how to change a diaper – when awake and while sleeping without disturbing the baby or the mother.
Remove the word ‘Calm Down’ from your vocabulary
It’s best that you forget the word calm down and what it implies. When your wife is pissed off, the child is going crazy crying , and life is hurling challenges your way – stay. Don’t run. Don’t run to TV, Beer, your boys or distractions. Stay present, engage her, get babysitting, do whatever it takes to bring the smile back on her face, without saying ‘CALM DOWN’!
Don’t try to steal food from Mom’s plate
No, not even one French fry, not the last bite of her pasta, not the last sip of her coffee, actually, don’t eat the last anything. Mom is tired and grumpy already, and I bet you a hungry new mom mood swing isn’t something you want to be involved in. If you do, the planets and stars align, fire rains down from above and a beast you might not be familiar with could possibly rip your head off. You’ve been warned.
You won’t fall in love with your child immediately – it’s ok!
Don’t be surprised or feel guilty if you don’t fall in love with your child right away – I promise you it’s normal and it’s OK. The moment you first hold your child combined with instant love is rare. Sometimes it doesn’t happen. Sometimes it can take months. Sometimes while holding your crying child, you’ll catch yourself thinking – I CAN’T DO THIS! Just remember – YOU CAN DO THIS . It will happen organically whether it’s immediate or down the line.
Planning a weekend with the boys ?
Day-long weekend activities with the boys in the first year or while mommy dear is home changing nappies and breast-feeding, is injurious to your life ! Please read the offer document carefully before planning. Well, you might need to re – think,re- plan, umm…re-…!!
Welcome to the world of sleep deprivation
A newborn baby will leave you with a level of sleep deprivation like no other. It’s different from getting up early before an exam or trying to catch an early morning flight,or even coping with the odd hangover. You may feel disorientated by it, which can leave you feeling irritable and fuzzy-headed. Say hello to the new form of sleep deprivation! Circle a date on a calendar 6 weeks from the birth day. THAT’S when you get to sleep a full night again. Maybe!
Say Good-bye to Time, Clocks and sometimes plans
There will be times (actually most often than not) when you’ll feel you’re always on the go. You’ll be racing around changing nappies, sterilizing bottles, vaccination calendars, and, just occasionally, getting a chance to bond with your baby or your wife. It may feel as if someone is secretly speeding up the clocks. You’ll wake up with grand plans and land up doing very little of it. The secret is not to over-plan your day. Keep it simple or you’ll end up feeling frustrated and stressed.
Don’t keep asking yourself if it’s being done right
You are not going to parent the right way. Nobody does. Parent your way. Ignore the advice you don’t like, because if you think the way that somebody parents is crazy, they think the same about you. Don’t worry about it. It is your kid, and you are their parent.
Everyone says, becoming a father or a parent is life changing and it most definitely is. It is one of the most demanding, aggravating, tiring, grueling and smelliest things a human being can ever do. Yet, right when you get to that breaking point the damnedest thing happens. The little man looks you in the eyes and you look in his and you see yourself in him. Then he smiles that special, toothless smile that only the two of you share. You know, the one he uses just for you. He looks up at you with those impossible baby blue eyes and smiles that perfect little smile… and you melt!
So enjoy every moment, even the really bad ones, because you will look back and wish you could have slowed down the passage of time.