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Bhanavi Sondhi Vats : Motherhood for the second time

Motherhood for the second time is by far one of the boldest decisions a woman can take. Knowingly stepping back into the regime of “sleepless nights, never ending sessions of potty nappy changing, swollen eyes, extra pounds of flesh hanging from everywhere and the complete mess one looks like is a choice we women have to make. Whether it is the right one and when it should happen is a very individual question.
I often ponder why I would want to go through all this once again just when I found my old life and routine back and was relieved about my first born being independent. Why I would want to inflict myself with the same pain and torture all over again. Am yet to answer that question for myself. Is it something I really want or is it more like my fervent effort to complete the family and tick yet another milestone on my checklist.


Am in my 38th week and waiting to deliver anytime now. I somehow feel 2nd time pregnancies being easier is just a myth. Specially when you have a 3 years old living nightmare to deal with. There have been times when I experience excruciating pain in my lower abdomen ( likely onset of pre labour) and I have my 3 years old son picking bogies and showing them to me with the most cherubic like face. That’s when I realise that having my son around has not only made my 2nd pregnancy easier but more entertaining too. Though I’ve had to fight constant battles with his moods and tantrums. Not for me or for anyone else but for him I would voluntarily go through these 9 months again so he has a companion to pick bogies with and to hide behind the door and eat mud with and water the plants with his pee with.


Whether 3 years is the apt gap between multiple pregnancies or not is another question that pops into my head ever so often. To be honest there isn’t any rule of thumb for the appropriate age difference between 2 babies but it’s more like other factors that influence this decision like- ones body condition and health, finances, family support and most of all your partner’s view about having another baby.


Having gone down this mind wrecking yet exciting path called pregnancy for the 2nd time, my only advise to 2nd time moms to be is that no 2 pregnancies are alike, not even for the same mother. One should follow their instincts, prepare the first child ( if he/she are old enough) about the 2nd one coming, involve him/her in preparing for the new born and relish every moment of it as once the 2nd one comes, your job won’t only become more cumbersome but it sure will be a long time before you get hold of your life just the way it used to be.