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my first forty days

BHAVEEKA – My first forty days

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Dearest VIRAJ,


Hi I wanted to let you know how much you mean to us. I am going to make you read this letter when you are almost 10 years or so. So here it goes. This picture is from one of the sleepless night I had spent during the first 40days after your birth.


Your father was however not with us since there were some family beliefs and rituals about not staying together (which I don’t think has any logic, so I would not pass this legacy to you). Only in terms of respect to your grand mother and your great grand parents I followed them.


Now, coming back to those nights, you were never a cranky baby but yes you would wake up for filling your tummy. That too very regularly. So one night I slept a little deep which made me not hear you and the thought still haunts me for how long were you crying. So I decided to stay up until you would go into deep sleep. I followed some sleeping hacks on you and they worked sometimes. Endless snuggles and love I showered towards you. I was missing your dad to be with me to join in this act. It was your great grand mother who slept besides us. She would never know that you and me were awake and did some cute stuff together every night. I would sleep only once I had the assurance of your deep sleep. (Sometimes, all I would get is ~ 2 hours of sleep).




Your great grand mother would wake me up early in the morning and then I had to sit and listen to her instructions on mommying as she bathed you (although I knew how to bathe a baby), she had set a breakfast, lunch and dinner routine for me. Visitors didn’t stop during the day until late into the night. People would sit right in front of you and not let you rest. I was like don’t they know I have just gone through  a C-section?


As you were not supposed to eat or drink anything , your grand mother wanted me to give you some cow milk. Again I had a tuff time handling that issue and keeping you safe from such things. So, All I want to say is I love you now and forever. Make your self a better person and never loose your hope and patience. Dream big and stay blessed.


Mommy who was never tired of mommying you.