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Self Love

How a quote on parenting helped me find something I didn’t have

Have you ever been in a situation where you read about something or come across some incident that changes your whole outlook towards that subject? Well, if you have been on the same trip, you’ll relate!


As parents, we do not leave any stone unturned to provide the best for our little ones. What’s the best shampoo, what’s the best meal plan, whether to use a disposable diaper or an earth -friendly cloth diapers – the list of endless questions that demands an answer from the world wide web.


woman holding hot cup of coffee, with heart shape


I too have been throwing my share of questions to the most powerful search engine and will continue to do so. Because as parents you never want to settle for ‘average’ and are constantly searching for the ‘best’ . An average label throws you on the loop of parental self-doubt. But, pause and think- don’t we sometimes miss the essentials in the endless materialistic search : Something that will remain forever with them, in them unlike the fancy products we shower upon them.


So recently, I stole little time from my feed-play-put to sleep- repeat schedule and said “hi” to my very favourite social media world(any guesses?) On my way of stalking and exploring, I came across a lovely quote on parenting, which read  –


“Children learn more from what you are than, what you teach.”


Before I could ponder any further, the door bell rang and the most awaited parcel arrived. Aha, of course it was for my baby. With all excitement l started unwrapping it, I checked the stuff I had ordered for and smiled with pride. All my time – tickling the search engine, about the whats and hows of the product had paid off. Keeping my chin high and grin on, I got back to my feed-play-put to sleep – repeat schedule.


The day passed by but that thought hadn’t. It demanded my attention. It got stuck in my mind. A plethora of questions kept zooming in and out. Am I living up to this thought? There are a long list of things that I would want my baby to have in him. To my short lived happiness, I had successfully met with few of the things that I possess and would want my baby to learn from me, but,  I stumbled upon something – a quality that I would want my baby to have as I know the importance of it(from the source-my best friend internet). SELF LOVE


Yes! How simple it sounds and more simpler to expect everybody to have. I had my real moments, when I asked myself – do I genuinely love my self? Do I? To my surprise rather shock, I didn’t quite get an affirmative answer. My mind started blabbering yes, I do definitely love myself.I do take out my “me time” from my hectic schedule, I do order stuff for myself that catches my fancy, and blah blah blah! I was unable to satisfy my heart who was looking upon my brains for the answers. Answers that my heart knew so well but was upset as I had failed to attend to them. My heart knew what had I done wrong, what had I put myself through to question the  love for my self ?


I spent two days extensively on this thought (consciously running in my mind while meeting the day to day errands ). I managed to get answers. Answers, which I procrastinated multiple times.


With teary eyes, I realised self love is beyond just treating yourself with the things you would like to have.


Self love is about not putting yourself to meet somebody else’s judgement for you, Self love should set you free. Whereas I would continuously put myself through some scanner all the time. I would want to reach and touch the benchmark of being an ideal mother,wife,daughter, daughter in law, friend etc . In order to meet the benchmarks of all of the above roles, I had lost myself somewhere. But thank god. Its motherhood, my love for my baby boy, my passion to imbibe good qualities in him -has given me all my answers for life. Now I think I know what actually is true self love.


All I have learnt is letting go of everything that fights with my inner peace is Self Love. Giving myself the freedom of choosing what I genuinely want to pursue is Self love. Accepting myself for who I am, what I am, is self love for me . Giving a damn about, how my actions will be judged and settling for society’s verdict are a way of loving myself. Accepting all my flaws with a courageous heart is self love.


Self Love is the power that you gift to yourself. A power, that will keep you going in this ever changing and forever judgemental world. Period


Give it a thought!



By Ankita D Vanigota
Blessed mom | Fashion enthusiast | Gratified wife
Follow her motherhood journal here