The journey towards becoming a mother is a complex one. It is a continuous endeavor of trying to better ones self in the search of becoming the perfect mom! Our idea of becoming a mom is surreal and this dawns upon us the instant we hold our baby in our arms for the first time. The realization that a new life is now going to be shaped by us is a difficult one. I was blessed with a baby boy on May 5th and since then my life has turned around 360 degrees.
The idea of becoming a parent is an exciting one & in general we, indian women are wired to believe this is an essential part of our existence & hence the thought of planning a baby comes to us very naturally & somewhat easily. But what we are not made to understand is how motherhood really changes your life & moreso the way u think! The moment u hold your baby in the hospital, you realize how this tiny little person who until now was in your tummy is now a reality in your arms. Every decision you take is one that will shape his being & this is a huge responsibility, one that all mothers need to understand.
Since I have become a mother, I have experienced emotions that I never knew I had in me. From the first time that my baby opened his eyes & looked at me, my world changed. Those tiny fingers, the tiny toes, that little nose all melt my heart away. For every mom her kid is the most beautiful baby ever & such is the heart of a mother. Their first turn, their first smile, their first tooth, and all such other first’s are oh so special in a mothers life. Amongst all these new emotions is a strange emotion of fear that I now experience being a mommy. I often wonder what kind of a mom will I be and sometimes fear whether I will be a good one? With no prior experience one sure gets jittery 😉 Will I be able to teach my baby all the right things, the right values, the right morals? I often wonder whether I will be able to make him the man that he deserves to be? And just when I begin to think in this direction, I realize exactly how big decision motherhood is! It is a decision that involves another person’s existence & with him the lives & future of many other lives that he will touch during his life.
As a woman, now a mother…..
I want to teach my baby to respect other people, to respect their views & thoughts, to accept them the way they are, to not judge them with preconceived notions. I want to teach my boy to treat women as equals, to never hit a woman, to never hurt any other person by his actions or words. I want to teach him compassion & humility. I want him to be grounded. I want him to be fearless & chase his dreams, I want him to follow his heart. I want him to be the best version of what he possibly believes he can be……
And just when I write all this I realize how much of all of this depends on me & my parenting.
By becoming a mother we decide to forever have our heart go walking around outside your body, and so we must ensure it’s a good one!